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So You’re Cute – Get Over It

I've always been confused by the fact that guys constantly call girls they find attractive cute but refuse to believe that a girl might use the word the same way. I've never, ever met a guy irl (until today) who doesn't know that a girl calling a guy cute means she thinks he's attractive.

I call my boyfriend adorable all the time, and I am immensely attracted to him.

Long-story-short-moment. I was with my best friend and she was introducing us (me and my boyfriend) to her new boyfriend. Over the course of the afternoon it came up that my boyfriend in my opinion/eyes is cute/adorable.

My friend's boyfriend thought that that was hilarious and began teasing my boyfriend for being "asexual."

a·dor·a·ble (-dôr-bl, -dr-)

  1. Delightful, lovable, and charming: an adorable set of twins.
  2. Worthy of adoration.

"Adorable" and "sexy/handsome" aren't mutually exclusive. He new bf can go fuck off. Adorable is just as great of a compliment as any of the other words.

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Be Happy People

I lived, I loved; I was here.

The concept of you is simple. Even if you died tomorrow, you happened.

You existed.

You are a concept that the laws of the universe allowed to materialize.

All the beauty that is you is cemented into the fabric of reality. You will die, everyone that knew you will die, humanity will die, the earth will die, the sun will die, the universe will die.

But no amount of time will negate the fact that your life was real.

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Volcanic Activity

People seem to think that there are a lot of volcanoes erupting lately. It might be from the Clustering Illusion which states:

The clustering illusion is the tendency to erroneously consider the inevitable "streaks" or "clusters" arising in small samples from random distributions to be non-random. The illusion is caused by a human tendency to underpredict the amount of variability likely to appear in a small sample of random or semi-random data.

In conjunction with Cognitive Bias related to the amount of coverage the eruptions are receiving right now from the media.

Cognitive bias states:

A cognitive bias is a systematic pattern of deviation from norm or rationality in judgment. Individuals create their own "subjective social reality" from their perception of the input. An individual's construction of social reality, not the objective input, may dictate their behaviour in the social world. Thus, cognitive biases may sometimes lead to perceptual distortion, inaccurate judgment, illogical interpretation, or what is broadly called irrationality.

This leads to Apophenia a universal human tendency to seek patterns in random information.

Apophenia is the tendency to perceive connections and meaning between unrelated things. Confirmation bias is a variation of apophenia. The term (German: Apophänie) was coined by psychiatrist Klaus Conrad in his 1958 publication on the beginning stages of schizophrenia.

The current level of volcanic activity is normal.

On average, there are usually ~20 volcanoes in some stage of erupting at any given time.

The recent eruptions in Hawaii and the recent one in Guatemala which have been deemed news worthy are not connected.

So the short answer it's just the coverage and/or the fact that these two eruptions are happening in populated places and that both are being filmed a lot by locals.

As for the rates, you can check out the Smithsonian weekly eruption report to get a sense that there are lots of eruptions going on that aren't making the news. When you go back into the archives, which span ~18 years, you can get a somewhat qualitative sense that this number of currently erupting volcanoes is not out of the ordinary. As a side note, this is not quite real time, so this is the summary for last week so it doesn't yet include the eruption in Guatemala.

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My Favorite Time of Year

To be completely honest, I fall for the charms of all four seasons. It is hard to pick one above the other, and it seems like it is only truly possible if you aren't currently in it. I love spring. But we're in the middle of it now and with its flirtatious colors and the first hint of longer days. It makes it pretty attractive.

My mother is big on spring. Mainly because all of her plants start coming up out of the ground.

In the last couple of years she began to plant mainly perennials so she gets the added benefit of only needing to plant it once.

Summer, seductive with its broad display of produce and extra vacation time, and winter, with its cozy clothes and generous sprinkling of holiday cheer.

What I'm saying is it's possibly going to be contradicted, in that case chalk it up to my fickle nature and please disregard it.

I enjoy biking around town during this time of year.

I love that autumn is earthy. I love fall foliage. I love that it starts to rain. It's the perfect time to prepare a cup of tea, take a blanket into the living room and read stretched out on the sofa wrapped in my soft blanket. I can choose between sneakers or boots, pants or a skirt.

I love that instead of flowers I use pumpkins as decorations.

It's all about autumn.

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Is It A Phobia?

I developed totally irrational adult onset fear of flying. I'm convinced I'm going down and turbulence has me grabbing the arm rest, closing my eyes and preparing for life to flash before my eyes.

The problem is I absolutely live to travel.

The days of being able to volunteer for your passage on the oceans are over. Tickets for a long distance ocean voyage are expensive. The fact that you have to attend safety training of how to put on a survival suit in a set amount of time goes to show how serious it is.

Frankly I think flying is much safer but everyone is different.

By land well you can train it, bus it or hitch hike. Some places are more connected and cheaper than other but via land there are many ways.

You could travel the world via sea and land but for that I just don't have enough money. For me, flying = fear and so it was North and Central America only. Sure that is a lot to explore. But it was also expensive. I got over my fear and now love it.

I realized in that moment that my fear of flying was rooted in feeling like I was in control.

When you sit in an aluminum tube 6 miles above the ground going 600 mph, the last thing you feel is in control. So I managed to trick my mind into ceding that control for a moment, and I shocked myself by actually having fun on a flight!

My only advice to be able to get over this phobia is to seek some professional help and go from there.

PS. At least I am not afraid of spiders.

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The Casual Business

Have you ever met somebody that just seems too charismatic. Everybody remembers them, and they seem to know absolutely everybody. Well, I think that what looks so effortless takes a lot of time and effort to achieve.

In fact I know it does.

Ahead of Myself

I like to connect with people, both professionally and in a casual more personal setting. That means that I am not afraid to contact or approach people. Being outgoing helps a lot here. No matter what I always try to make the best impression that I can.

And making the right impression comes from a lot of different aspects all combined and rolled into one. A lot of people can make a good impression without even really trying. I might be able to do that, but I prefer to actually try. At least then I know that I made the effort since leaving things to chance doesn't seem sensible.

Put Your Best Foot Forward

To try to act as an ideal version of oneself, typically to try to impress others. Expression history

I find that that is a combined effort. You need to dress appropriately — something that I feel is just as important personally as it is professionally — and yes that includes footwear. But it is more than your foot, it is the entire picture. No matter how we fight against it, we do make up our mind about a person based on how that appear to us. If you go through the effort of looking put together then you want to make a good impression.

To quote another idiom, the first impression which is a form of thin-slicing. Or the act of making one's mind up based on limited exposure. While in adulthood you can re-evaluate that opinion after additional exposure to a person, it maybe of utter importance when are being interview. In situations like that you are being assessed based on very narrow or thin amount of exposure. You can best serve yourself by making that thin amount of exposure memorable. This is why I still hand out business cards. It may sound old fashioned, it is, but that doesn't mean that it isn't a valuable tool to use. Simply because people would rather have me give them a digital means of contact does not mean that they are unable to appreciate a good business card. And one of the tricks is picking out one that tells them something about who you are and allow you to stay ever present in their minds. Digital contact information is convenient once you have a place in their memory. Whereas with a card, which can convey the same amount of information or more (multiple contact options a web presence, etc.) you are giving them something tangible. Something that will act as a small anchor which connects your details to your face.

My father was a business man most of my career. He traveled a lot for work which is actually how he met my mother. He was returning from Europe and had a stop over in England. He had always wanted to explore London so that is what he was doing when they met. They will be married for 43 years this Fall. She worked at a florist's shop that was owned by her aunt. He wasn't in need of flowers but for some reason fate had him go inside. It was a stroke of luck, otherwise I wouldn't be here, that has left them happy for nearly half a century.

Name cards were a big part of business when my father was young. You really didn't have many other means to share your information. Full documents were not practical and you needed a quick and easy way to share your information. Things like smart phones have really simplified things more. I remember when my father got his first cell phone. The reception was terrible. It weight literally a ton and was always empty.

The phone amazed me.

Dad said that it made his life a lot easier. And while it might be hard looking back, I can imagine that it made things a lot easier for him. He didn't need to wait around the telephone on the weekends when he was expecting a call nor did I have to miss out on talking with him when he was underway.

Of course we wouldn't have been able to afford it, but his company offered it as a perk for their employees who had to travel a lot. And it was a plus for them I guess. Otherwise they wouldn't have done it.

He worked most of his career for the same company and went through thousands of business cards.

Some kids collect cards. I collected his various business cards. Every time he got a new one he would give me one. He'd say that it is a "mint first edition" and I would file it away in my collection. When he retired I think that I had nearly 100 different styles but it has been some time since I last checked to say exactly. Some have yellowed with time but they are just as valuable to me as when they were mint.

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Too Many Colors But I Love Them All

I love color but it is deeper than say, an artist's eye, it is a celebration. I blame my mum for this.

Yup, I said mum. My mother was born and raised in England she met my dad and have lived in sunny California ever since. I don't think that my dad as a favorite, but for my mum, it is yellow. I think in England you get something like 50 years of cloudy in every century. When we visit family there it is always so overcast. That is why yellow is her favorite, no matter how many rainy days she had growing up, she could always have some sunshine in the color yellow.

When I was a kid growing up she had a flower garden where she grew yellow peonies and lemon trees. It was truly a beautiful sight.

I love them all.

For me colors are an expression of emotion, experience, and individuality.

Though that last statement may not be true. I read somewhere that around 50% of the world claim blue as their favorite color. And yet to say blue is wrong. What we consider blue is a huge range. Deep blue, and the bright cyan blue are really different, but both are considered the same color because, English.

But I like cyan blue a whole lot more than indigo blue. I have always found it strange when people consider cyan to just be a shade of blue. Cyan is in between blue and green. Just like orange is between red and yellow, yet we don't consider orange to just be a shade of red.

Under scientific color theory, there are the subtractive primary colors, which would be magenta, cyan and yellow, and then there are the additive primary colors, which are red, blue and green. The idea that the primary colors are red, yellow and blue has been considered wrong for a long time, but it still gets taught today, being taught as the RYB model in art classes, this does not mean that it is scientific.

Scientifically cyan is actually a primary color.

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Trust Me It’s Not Bad

I feel that a lot of men have the idea that a woman calling them "adorable" or "cute" is a bad thing and means that woman isn't sexually attracted to them, but it's usually the opposite of that.

I'm way more attracted to cute men than masculine types. I feel kinda bad when I call them adorable to their faces though.

The reaction is usually insulted.

Listen, you can be adorable and sexy at the same time. I call my boyfriend adorable a lot and it's definitely a good thing.

It has a lot to do with gender roles society levies on men. In our world men are not supposed to have emotions and they definitely aren't "supposed" to be cute or adorable. A man giggle?

Unheard of!